


WAR PIG

by bookwyrm



Category: Mad Max Series (Movies)
Genre: AU, F/F, F/M, Food Trucks, Gen, food cart au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-18
Updated: 2015-07-18
Packaged: 2018-04-10 00:57:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4371053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bookwyrm/pseuds/bookwyrm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doof Wagon doesn't really sell food. Sort of. It sells... you know that thing you want at 3am and you're high and a bit drunk and so are your boys so you're just walking around and then you want-- what? You don't know, but you want it. That's when the Doof Wagon is open for business.</p>
            </blockquote>





	WAR PIG

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ArwenLune](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArwenLune/gifts).



> Food carts in my city actually stay put (they colonize underused parking lots and set up tables), but a Mad Max AU seems to need to be on the move. This is less a fill and more a ramble on the subject. It tried to have a plot for a second, but that didn't go anywhere. If anybody wants to run with these ideas, please feel free. Throw me a note, I would like to see what you come up with. 
> 
> Originally posted on the [kinkmeme](http://madmaxkink.dreamwidth.org/450.html?thread=1001922#cmt1001922).

The Doof Wagon doesn't really sell food. Sort of. It sells... you know that thing you want at 3am and you're high and a bit drunk and so are your boys so you're just walking around and then you want-- what? You don't know, but you want it. That's when the Doof Wagon is open for business.

You never remember what you bought the next day. The Wagon is never open when you're sober, though you sometimes see it parked with a few other carts, heavy metal shaking the shutters and the thin steel walls. Once, you waited for six hours in the sun, doing air guitar riffs along with the music. You never heard or saw anyone. You left to pee, and when you came back, it was gone.

 

WAR PIG makes the meanest pulled pork in town, bar none. There's the classic, of course, but also a fiery curry version and a seitan-mushroom thing that makes you consider vegitarianism (albeit briefly). Furiosa's pretty blond assistant recently split off to start Green Wood Pizza with two of her friends, which. Okay. The pizza is great, right? It's wood-fired heaven on a paper plate. But, be real, you'd go if it was wet cardboard, just to see Capable. Slit mocks you for your crush. Slit can go fuck himself.

Furiosa goes through a few different assistants in a few weeks, but finally one sticks, a skinny little shy kid. She's nervous and awkward at first, but when WAR PIG and Green Wood Pizza are parked near each other for an afternoon, you see her and Dag sitting together on the park bench. They're flapping their shirts in the breeze and laughing, and that's nice.

 

Joe's Joes, here's the thing. It's cheap, and you're poor. And it always seems like a good idea. It's cheap! It's food! It hasn't been shut down by the city yet (successfully).

Joe's Joes is never, ever, a good idea.

 

Cafe No sells french toast, waffles, pancakes, and bacon to the drunks after the bars close, and most weekends Toast is also open for brunch. Some Saturdays, Capable is in there too, one of them taking orders and the other one flinging things off the griddle as fast as she can.

Many Moothers makes ice cream. Not, like, Baskin Robins 31 Flavors, though. No, they sell astonishing shit like bone marrow. Goat cheese marrionberry habanero. Olive oil. Basil and black pepper. They swoop down on parks and street fairs and sell out in hours. They never repeat a flavor. You heard one of them shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die.

Ok, not the last thing, that was Johnny Cash. And they do actually repeat, about half of their lineup rotates through the most popular options. But you're still terrified of them.

Ace Cream, on the other hand, does the basics, but it does them well. Ace can't seem to decide between Furiosa and Joe. Some days he's parked just down the block from WAR PIG, but other days you go for lunch and he's right there with Joe and Doof Wagon (closed, of course).

You and Slit started Rev Head for the morning coffee crowd a few years back, and it's still going strong. You run the counter and handle the tea selection and drive; he makes fancy, complicated, overclocked coffee. Occasionally, some damn fool asks for decaf. Decaf, as if. One time Slit had had too many of his own creations and you just about had to haul him off the man, spitting and swearing about traitors and go juice and who knows what.

Mutually Assured Destruction is run by a really quiet twitchy dude who makes sausage. Your favorite (and you're not alone, judging by the internet reviews) is the black pudding, served fried in thick slices.

 

There are other carts you only see occasionally: Flamer (a sort of fusion donnerkebab thing), Piecemaker (pies, meat and otherwise), Aqua Cola (Italian soda with hand made syrups), and one you were deeply confused by until you realized it wasn't food - Miss Giddy runs a weird sort of street library. Longpig seems to be a ripoff of Furiosa's WAR PIG, so fuck him. She did it first and she does it better.

**Author's Note:**

> Green Wood Pizza is based on Pyro Pizza, at SE 12th and Hawthorne. They really do have a wood fire pizza oven in a cart. It really is the best pizza. While you're there, have some poutine at Potato Champion.
> 
> Piecemaker is sort of based on Whiffy's Fried Pies, except that Piecemaker makes full size pies to sell slices of, rather than little hand pies.
> 
> Many Moothers's flavors were stolen with thanks from Salt and Straw.
> 
> Miss Giddy's library is based on Street Books, a human-powered library for people who live outdoors.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [The Food Trucks of Fury Road](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4484342) by [captivation](https://archiveofourown.org/users/captivation/pseuds/captivation)
  * [Mad Max: Heart eyes, coffee and food carts](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4725299) by [Daydreamisallihave](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daydreamisallihave/pseuds/Daydreamisallihave)




End file.
